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Long for the fresh, clean air of the country? The pace of modern life becoming too much? Then join us at Celestial Heights to sweep the anxieties of the day away and revitalise you. We offer the finest breaks in the stunning spa town of Yewwood Wells, catering for your every need. Spend your days relaxing in the town’s famous thermal baths, walking along the dramatic coastline, or just enjoying Celestial Heights’ fifteen acres of gardens. Women of Spindlegarde, do not allow your home life to suffer anymore – enjoy your Celestial Heights break today!

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Celestial Heights is the first resort of its like in Yewwood Wells, catering exclusively for women from as far away as Kingsburg. In the age of steam engines, railways and Teslerian lights, it is easy to become lost in the marvel of technology. However, when it is time to find yourself again, come to Celestial Heights. Located in picturesque woodland of Yewwood, just a thirty minute train journey from Spindlegarde, Celestial Heights is the epitome of calm. The hall is a fine example of medieval architecture with extensive formal gardens which stay in bloom for nine months of the year. Inside is just as luxurious. Your comfort is our priority at Celestial Heights. Each resident is treated to their own set of apartments, encompassing a bedroom and a parlour. The drawing room and morning room are always open to visitors for tea and needlework. Dinner is also served every night at eight in the spectacular great hall which boasts what was the highest ceiling in the country, until it was recently overtaken by the completion of the Golden Dome at the Imperial Palace in Kingsburg. This historic house will soothe your soul and provide much needed traditional respite against a modern and ever-changing world.

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New research shows that Teslerian street lighting causes melancholia, hysterics and fainting fits in females*. This is before Teslerian energy has reached our homes. Imagine the damage it could cause to you and your children. Toxic smog and fumes from the Teslerian gas affect women’s frailer bodies much quicker than a man. This frailty and disease is then passed on to all children, leading to higher infant deaths. These same studies show that spending just twenty minutes in fresh, country air reverses any potential injury from the dangerous fumes. Protect yourself for the rest of your life with a short break at Celestial Heights**.

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Celestial Heights – where luxurious leisure and modern medicine live in perfect harmony.

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For enquiries and to reserve a place at our much sought after institution, please send your name, address and a shilling to:

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Celestial Heights

Yewwood Wells

West Spindlegarde

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*Dr Henry Hardcastle, ‘Practical and Theoretical Observations on the Nature of Teslerian Energy’ (1841)

** There is no conclusive proof that a stay at Celestial Heights would immunise you against toxic smog.